The Marketer Who Went Off Consumption

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Dear Blue,

I’m finding it really difficult to respond to your post comparing a life of chosen frugality to a life of enforced frugality.

Ever since our first quaint online correspondence with each other more than a year back — do you remember your first e-mail to me? — I have thought of you fondly, as a friend. Even though we didn’t meet up when you were in India, you have been a regular presence in my online life.

So, I’m really embarrassed that I didn’t realize that you had money problems. It’s a tragedy of the tenuous nature of our online ties that it’s easy to believe that we know our friends, when we don’t really know them at all.

It isn’t easy, or nice, to have less money than you need. I have been there myself and I have seen, firsthand, what it does to people and to relationships. It take away much that is of value and teaches you too little, too late. I wish that I don’t ever have to deal with it. I wish that none of my friends have to ever deal with it.

So, as you go though your last month without a ‘real job’, my thoughts will be with you. For now, here’s a long long-distance hug for you.

Yes, I agree with the conclusion you have drawn from the many ‘a year without X’ experiments, including mine –

When you’re poor, you do what you can to appear better-off, even if it (is financially imprudent)… when you’re financially comfortable, then frugality becomes a statement which can be worn proudly.

There’s no virtue in ‘not having’ something in the first place; the only virtue is in ‘giving up’ something you already have.

Having said that, I want to share with you the two most important lessons I have learned in my life. The first lesson is that you, and only you, can define what is enough for you. The second lesson is that you can truly appreciate having enough, only when you have known how it feels to not have enough. Expect two long follow-up posts on these two topics.

So, hold steady. May is merely a month away. You’ll never be able to look back at the last few months with fondness, but someday you might be able to laugh them off.

Lots of love,

Gaurav

• Why Didn’t You Tell Me You Had Financial Problems? (4)