Category Archives: Zero Dollar Dating

The Joy of Gifting + My Craving for Aloo Parathas

When you can’t buy things, you learn to ask for things, and when you ask for things, you learn something about yourself and others.

Throughout last week, I have been asking my friends to make me aloo parathas.

It started last Sunday, when Kanishka and Avantika came over for lunch. My cooking range is limited to pasta and pulao so, if you eat at my place regularly, you might find the menu a little repetitive. Knowing that, I had made two different types of pasta — farfalle, bell peppers and spring onions in Mexican salsa sauce and casarecce and baby corn in cheese and wine sauce — and added mushrooms on toast as a side dish. However, I wasn’t really surprised when, five minutes into lunch, Avantika took a break from picking at her food and asked me —

How Can a Man Not Use Aftershave Lotion?

The other night, a lady friend was combing her hair in my bathroom when she decided to investigate the state of my toiletries instead.

She made appreciative sounds when she saw my Bvlgari body lotion and Burberry perfume, but was much perplexed when she couldn’t find any aftershave lotion.

Here’s a more or less faithful reproduction of the conversation that followed –

Lady Friend: (clearing her throat) Which aftershave lotion do you use?

Gaurav: Actually, I don’t use one anymore.

Lady Friend: (resuming her inspection of my toiletries) Oh! So, you use an aftershave gel. Those are good too.

I Ate Four McDonald’s Paneer Salsa Wraps Today

I ate four McDonald’s Paneer Salsa Wraps today.

No, I didn’t break down under the weight of my withdrawal symptoms and take a taxi to McDonald’s Colaba outlet and order myself four of them. In fact, I didn’t even have one of my usual craving attacks for them today.

My ex-girlfriend bought them for me, and I couldn’t not eat them.

For context, she’s the same ex-girlfriend who had asked me last year if I had thought about where I’ll keep her, before breaking up with me. As she pointed out to me after she read my post, it was only breakup number 7 out of our 171 breakups, and I was the one who initiated the last one.

Weekend #2: Free French Play + Date With Merlot + Dinner With Friends

On Saturday evening, I walked over to Alliance Francaise to watch Rimbaud’s ‘Enfer et Illumination’, a French play that is part of the month long ‘The French Touch’ festival.

The play basically involved a man (Rimbaud) and a woman (his muse?) reciting Rimbaud’s poetry in French, and enacting it in the Kuchipudi tradition (painted faces et al), while English subtitles were projected onto the screen.

I hardly know any French, haven’t ever read Rimbaud, and have no interest in Kuchipudi. The only reason I went for the play was because it was free and therefore allowed.

The Beginners Guide To Zero Dollar Dating In Bombay

You’ll recall that, ever since I have gone off consumption, the number one question I have been asking myself is: what can you do on a date when you are off consumption?

Friends, readers, well-wishers: I’m delighted to tell you that, in spite of my fear that my year of abstinence may spread to more areas of my life than I had planned for, I had two perfect zero dollar dates last week.

My Insatiable Craving For McDonald’s Paneer Salsa Wrap

McDonald's Paneer Salsa Wrap

I have a confession to make.

I have an insatiable craving for McDonald’s Paneer Salsa Wrap.

It hits me at the oddest times and places, more often than I would like to admit.

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Sometimes, I’m running on Marine Drive and, suddenly, my stomach ties up into knots and all I can think of is a McDonald’s Paneer Salsa Wrap.

I have to stop, bend over, take a few deep breaths, look out over the sea towards Malabar Hills, wait for the craving to slowly subside.

The Last Time I Brought Up Being Off Consumption On A First Date

If you think that I’m needlessly worried about dating and being off consumption not mixing well, let me tell you about the last time I brought up being off consumption on a first date.

It started off as a typical first date.

After I picked her up from her place, we had dinner at Salt Water Grill and watched the latest Hollywood blockbuster at INOX. It was a little after midnight, at the coffee shop of The Oberoi, that I brought up the topic of my ennui with the brands + media + retail triumvirate.

The Number One Question I Am Asking Myself Ever Since I Have Gone Off Consumption

The number one question everyone is asking me ever since I have gone off consumption is different from the number one question I have been asking myself.

While everyone else is consumed with the scientific curiosity of how will I decide what’s a necessity, I’m worried about the more immediate issue of what to do on my next date.

Consumption is a social thing and, of all our social interactions, dating is the one most tied up with buying things.

Let’s do a quick visualization exercise to establish this. Please don’t read beyond the next paragraph until you have completed this exercise.