The Marketer Who Went Off Consumption

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I have a confession to make.

I have an insatiable craving for McDonald’s Paneer Salsa Wrap.

It hits me at the oddest times and places, more often than I would like to admit.

Sometimes, I’m running on Marine Drive and, suddenly, my stomach ties up into knots and all I can think of is a McDonald’s Paneer Salsa Wrap.

I have to stop, bend over, take a few deep breaths, look out over the sea towards Malabar Hills, wait for the craving to slowly subside.

Sometimes, when I can’t control the craving, I get into a taxi and go over to the McDonald’s outlet in Colaba and get myself one (or two) at 463 kCal apiece.

Sometimes, I’m kissing a woman and my mouth goes all wet and dribbley and all I can think of is a McDonald’s Paneer Salsa Wrap.

Some women notice, others don’t, but every time it happens, I know exactly what has triggered it.

Some women like wet kisses, others don’t, so, the reaction varies; I don’t think it has been a deal-breaker so far.

In any case, after a few minutes of trying to control my craving, I have to stop and whisper in her ear in my deep throaty bedroom voice –

Honey, would you like to go out for some pasta and wine?

However, even as I enjoy the low lighting, the mood music, the feel of her hand in mine, and the excellent pasta in wine sauce at Indigo Deli, I find myself still thinking of McDonald’s Paneer Salsa Wrap.

Sometimes, when I’m in another city on work, the craving hits me in the middle of a business meeting with a dealer or a territory manager, especially close to lunch hour.

I’m known for not closing a business meeting without getting what I want — through sam, dam, dand, bhed — but, suddenly, all I want to do is to finish the meeting as soon as I can.

At the end of the meeting, everyone is happy — I haven’t negotiated half as hard as I usually do — but all I can think of is McDonald’s Paneer Salsa Wrap.

So, when someone brings up the topic of what we should do for lunch, I ask in my most matter-of-fact voice if there’s a McDonald’s nearby.

In fact, even as I write this post, and copy-paste the description of the Paneer Salsa Wrap from McDonald’s website —

A traditional Mexican soft flat bread that envelops crispy golden brown cottage cheese encrusted with a Mexican Cajun coating, and a salad mix of iceberg lettuce, carrot, red cabbage and celery, served with eggless mayonnaise, tangy Mexican Salsa sauce and cheddar cheese.

– my mouth is all wet and dribbley.

As part of my off consumption experiment, I’m not allowed to eat out for a year.

Given my history of craving for McDonald’s Paneer Salsa Wrap, I’m not surprised that my first withdrawal symptoms are triggered by it.

After Medea’s comment, I did a quick search and found a recipe for Mexican paneer wrap.

So, for my next date, maybe I will cook some Mexican paneer wraps home style.