Tag Archives: Conversations

I Want to Sit in a Cafe with Friends and Feed Myself on Convivial Conversation

Friday, June 20th, 2008

Three months back, I was someone who tried to never eat alone — at least three times in a week, I would either eat out, or invite someone home for ordered pizza/ home-made pasta and a shared bottle of wine.

In the last three months, I haven’t been inside a restaurant even once, I have entered a coffee shop only to use the washrooms, and the one time I ordered pizza home, it resulted in an upset stomach in a classic cautionary tale turn of events. In the beginning, I compensated by inviting my friends over more often, but now that my wine collection has run dry, and my stock of munchies is over, even throwing a house party isn’t as much fun anymore. As a result, instead of socializing thrice a week, I’m meeting my friends once in three weeks. In fact, I think it has been more than a month since I spent any time with my best friends Kanishka and Avantika.

In the spirit of scientific curiosity, I took away my social context, knowing fully well that —

unless you invent new social contexts, not only dating, even meeting friends may become a problem.

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I Ate Four McDonald’s Paneer Salsa Wraps Today

Friday, April 11th, 2008

I ate four McDonald’s Paneer Salsa Wraps today.

No, I didn’t break down under the weight of my withdrawal symptoms and take a taxi to McDonald’s Colaba outlet and order myself four of them. In fact, I didn’t even have one of my usual craving attacks for them today.

My ex-girlfriend bought them for me, and I couldn’t not eat them.

For context, she’s the same ex-girlfriend who had asked me last year if I had thought about where I’ll keep her, before breaking up with me. As she pointed out to me after she read my post, it was only breakup number 7 out of our 171 breakups, and I was the one who initiated the last one.

For even more context, she’s also the girl who sweetly insisted on paying for our date on Juhu beach and forced a hundred rupee note in my shirt pocket.

As I have mentioned before, our relationship is a little complicated.

You see, both of us love each other, but our relationship suffers from several compatibility time bombs. Compatibility time bombs — if you haven’t read Are You the One for Me?: Knowing Who’s Right and Avoiding Who’s Wrong by Barbara De Angelis — are external factors outside your control that make it impossible for you to be happy together as a couple.

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Why Didn’t You Tell Me You Had Financial Problems?

Wednesday, April 2nd, 2008

I was at my friend Kanishka’s place the other day, when I pulled out a Ziploc bag from my bag. Here’s a more or less faithful transcript of the conversation it triggered off –

Kanishka: Why are you carrying around sandwiches in a plastic bag?

Gaurav: Ah! Haven’t I told you that I’m off consumption for a year?

Kanishka: (chuckles) I bet you won’t be able to spend a month without consuming alcohol! But what is the connection between not consuming alcohol and carrying around sandwiches?

Gaurav: (smiles) Actually, I’m off consumption in the sense that I’m not buying anything for a year; well, anything that’s not a necessity anyways. Which means no eating out, no going out for movies or plays, no shopping, and no maidservant. So, whenever I go out, I carry some sandwiches with me, in case I get hungry.

Kanishka: (concerned) But why have you gone off consumption? Why didn’t you tell me you had financial problems?

Gaurav: (laughs) No, no, I’m not broke! It’s a year long experiment to understand why we choose to consume, or not. I’m even writing a book about it. It’s online; you should check it out sometime.

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