The Marketer Who Went Off Consumption

Welcome to The Marketer Who Went Off Consumption! Subscribe to my combined feed in a feed reader or by e-mail and you'll never miss a single post. Thanks for visiting!

When I started my off-consumption experiment, I was convinced that it was the end of dating for me, at least for a year. To my surprise, I was totally wrong.

Before we met in real life, we met online, on Twitter.

The first time we met in the real life, for a walk on Worli Sea Face, she told me that she wanted to interview me.

The second time we met, for another walk on Worli Sea Face, I felt sad when it was time to leave.

The third time we met, at a conference, we pretended that we hadn’t planned to meet up, then left together.

The fourth time we met, for yet another walk, I told her that I had a crush on her.

“You are going away,” she reminded me. “What exactly do you expect me to do about your crush?” she asked.

“Nothing at all,” I replied weakly, “except that you let me feel the way I do.”

“Are you married? Are you seeing someone else? Are you psychotic?” she cut me off with a series of quick-fire questions.

I have a confession to make.

I have an insatiable craving for McDonald’s Paneer Salsa Wrap.

It hits me at the oddest times and places, more often than I would like to admit.

Sometimes, I’m running on Marine Drive and, suddenly, my stomach ties up into knots and all I can think of is a McDonald’s Paneer Salsa Wrap.

I have to stop, bend over, take a few deep breaths, look out over the sea towards Malabar Hills, wait for the craving to slowly subside.

Sometimes, when I can’t control the craving, I get into a taxi and go over to the McDonald’s outlet in Colaba and get myself one (or two) at 463 kCal apiece.

Sometimes, I’m kissing a woman and my mouth goes all wet and dribbley and all I can think of is a McDonald’s Paneer Salsa Wrap.

Some women notice, others don’t, but every time it happens, I know exactly what has triggered it.

Some women like wet kisses, others don’t, so, the reaction varies; I don’t think it has been a deal-breaker so far.

If you think that I’m needlessly worried about dating and being off consumption not mixing well, let me tell you about the last time I brought up being off consumption on a first date.

It started off as a typical first date.

After I picked her up from her place, we had dinner at Salt Water Grill and watched the latest Hollywood blockbuster at INOX. It was a little after midnight, at the coffee shop of The Oberoi, that I brought up the topic of my ennui with the brands + media + retail triumvirate.

I told her that I hadn’t watched television for almost a year; she talked about how she watched CNBC-TV18 for three hours every evening.

I told her that I was about to give back my office car; she talked about how she had spent ten minutes in a traffic jam speculating about the marital status of the man reading The Economic Times in the chauffeur driven Mercedes next to her.

I told her that I hadn’t “shopped” in almost six months; she talked about the little black dress she had seen in the Marks & Spencer shop window.

The number one question everyone is asking me ever since I have gone off consumption is different from the number one question I have been asking myself.

While everyone else is consumed with the scientific curiosity of how will I decide what’s a necessity, I’m worried about the more immediate issue of what to do on my next date.

Consumption is a social thing and, of all our social interactions, dating is the one most tied up with buying things.

Let’s do a quick visualization exercise to establish this. Please don’t read beyond the next paragraph until you have completed this exercise.

I want you to close your eyes, breathe deeply, and think of a perfect first date for two minutes. Think of the best first date you have ever had. Or, think of how you want your next date to turn out. Or, if you are married, or off dating, think of your favorite first date sequence from a movie or an ad.

Your time starts now.

…

…

…

I’m reasonably sure that your perfect first date sequence included at least some of these images –