The problem with being off consumption is that you can no longer buy a ‘treat’ for yourself in order to snap out of a bad mood. Being off consumption means no comfort food, no self-gifting, no temporary postponement of pain by the rush of adrenalin triggered off by that perfect purchase.
But I knew that when I went off consumption. I knew that, to resist the temptation to buy, I’ll basically need to be happy all the time. I also knew that I’ll face my first big test as soon as I hit a bad day.
On Saturday evening, I walked over to Alliance Francaise to watch Rimbaud’s ‘Enfer et Illumination’, a French play that is part of the month long ‘The French Touch’ festival.
The play basically involved a man (Rimbaud) and a woman (his muse?) reciting Rimbaud’s poetry in French, and enacting it in the Kuchipudi tradition (painted faces et al), while English subtitles were projected onto the screen.
I hardly know any French, haven’t ever read Rimbaud, and have no interest in Kuchipudi. The only reason I went for the play was because it was free and therefore allowed.
I have a confession to make.
I have an insatiable craving for McDonald’s Paneer Salsa Wrap.
It hits me at the oddest times and places, more often than I would like to admit.
Sometimes, I’m running on Marine Drive and, suddenly, my stomach ties up into knots and all I can think of is a McDonald’s Paneer Salsa Wrap.
I have to stop, bend over, take a few deep breaths, look out over the sea towards Malabar Hills, wait for the craving to slowly subside.