The Marketer Who Went Off Consumption

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While men may get a thrill from the experience of paying, women love the experience of shopping itself. Paco Underhill explains why on page 116-117 of ‘Why We Buy‘ —

For many women, there are psychological and emotional aspects to shopping that are just plain absent in most men. Women can go into a kind of reverie when they shop — they become absorbed in the ritual of seeking and comparing, of imagining and envisioning merchandise in use. They then coolly tally up the pros and the cons of this purchase over that, and once they’ve found what they want at the proper price, they buy it. Women generally care that they do well in even the smallest act of purchasing, and they take pride in their ability to select the perfect thing, whether it’s a cantaloupe or a house or a husband.

Not that there’s anything superficial about the female relationship with consumption. In fact, it’s women, not men, who plumb the metaphysics of shopping — they illuminate how we human beings go through life searching, examining, questioning, and then acquiring and assuming and absorbing the best of what we see. At that exalted level, shopping is a transforming experience, a method of becoming a newer, perhaps even slightly improved person. The products you buy turn you into that other, idealized version of yourself: that dress makes you beautiful, this lipstick makes you kissable, that lamp turns your house into an elegant showplace.

I ate four McDonald’s Paneer Salsa Wraps today.

No, I didn’t break down under the weight of my withdrawal symptoms and take a taxi to McDonald’s Colaba outlet and order myself four of them. In fact, I didn’t even have one of my usual craving attacks for them today.

My ex-girlfriend bought them for me, and I couldn’t not eat them.

For context, she’s the same ex-girlfriend who had asked me last year if I had thought about where I’ll keep her, before breaking up with me. As she pointed out to me after she read my post, it was only breakup number 7 out of our 171 breakups, and I was the one who initiated the last one.

For even more context, she’s also the girl who sweetly insisted on paying for our date on Juhu beach and forced a hundred rupee note in my shirt pocket.

As I have mentioned before, our relationship is a little complicated.

You see, both of us love each other, but our relationship suffers from several compatibility time bombs. Compatibility time bombs — if you haven’t read Are You the One for Me?: Knowing Who’s Right and Avoiding Who’s Wrong by Barbara De Angelis — are external factors outside your control that make it impossible for you to be happy together as a couple.