The Marketer Who Went Off Consumption

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Women get a thrill out of shopping while men get a thrill out of footing the bill. Paco Underhill explains on page 115-116 of ‘Why We Buy‘ that there are historical reasons why shopping means more to women than it does to men —

The nature-over-nurture types posit that the prehistoric role of women as homebound gatherers of roots, nuts and berries rather than roaming hunters of woolly mammoths proves a biological inclination towards skillful shopping. The nurture-over-nature fans argue that for centuries, the all-powerful patriarchy kept women in the house and out of the world of commerce, except as consumers at the retail level.

This much is certain: shopping was what got the housewife out of the house. It was (and, in many parts of the world, remains) women’s main realm of public life. If, as individuals, they had little influence in the world of business, in the marketplace they collectively called the shots. Shopping gave women a good excuse to sally forth, sometimes even in blissful solitude, beyond the clutches of family. It was the first form of women’s liberation, affording an activity that lent itself to socializing with other adults, clerks and store owners and fellow shoppers.

While men may get a thrill from the experience of paying, women love the experience of shopping itself. Paco Underhill explains why on page 116-117 of ‘Why We Buy‘ —

For many women, there are psychological and emotional aspects to shopping that are just plain absent in most men. Women can go into a kind of reverie when they shop — they become absorbed in the ritual of seeking and comparing, of imagining and envisioning merchandise in use. They then coolly tally up the pros and the cons of this purchase over that, and once they’ve found what they want at the proper price, they buy it. Women generally care that they do well in even the smallest act of purchasing, and they take pride in their ability to select the perfect thing, whether it’s a cantaloupe or a house or a husband.

Not that there’s anything superficial about the female relationship with consumption. In fact, it’s women, not men, who plumb the metaphysics of shopping — they illuminate how we human beings go through life searching, examining, questioning, and then acquiring and assuming and absorbing the best of what we see. At that exalted level, shopping is a transforming experience, a method of becoming a newer, perhaps even slightly improved person. The products you buy turn you into that other, idealized version of yourself: that dress makes you beautiful, this lipstick makes you kissable, that lamp turns your house into an elegant showplace.