July 21st, 2008
Every Evening We Spend Together is a Gift
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When I started my off-consumption experiment, I was convinced that it was the end of dating for me, at least for a year. To my surprise, I was totally wrong.
Before we met in real life, we met online, on Twitter.
The first time we met in the real life, for a walk on Worli Sea Face, she told me that she wanted to interview me.
The second time we met, for another walk on Worli Sea Face, I felt sad when it was time to leave.
The third time we met, at a conference, we pretended that we hadn’t planned to meet up, then left together.
The fourth time we met, for yet another walk, I told her that I had a crush on her.
“You are going away,” she reminded me. “What exactly do you expect me to do about your crush?” she asked.
“Nothing at all,” I replied weakly, “except that you let me feel the way I do.”
“Are you married? Are you seeing someone else? Are you psychotic?” she cut me off with a series of quick-fire questions.
“Not yet. Not anymore. I don’t think so.” I replied, and I think we were seeing each other.
We spend most of our time together at my place, or hers. One evening, we baked cookies at her house, in an oven that didn’t quite work. Another evening, I showed her how I make pasta in my microwave, except that it turned out soggy. We spent an entire Sunday at my house, typing away on our laptops, looking up only to kiss. Most evenings, we sit next to each other, or lie down together, and talk.
Since I don’t go out anymore, and she loves going out, with friends old and new, there’s a part of her life in which I don’t play any part. Sometimes, she is out with her friends — for movie, dinner, drinks, or dancing — a few minutes away from my house, and we don’t meet at all. It’s almost as if, every evening, she has to choose between me and the rest of the world, because she can’t have both.
So, I think of every evening we do spend together, every time she chooses me over the rest of the world, as a gift. Like the bunch of tuberoses she bought one day for the empty vase in my living room.
